I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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