the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
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Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
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Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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