that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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