Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
