I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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