he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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