it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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