Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
