In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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