I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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