so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
