it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize
