Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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