hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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