If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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