Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
