I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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