we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
