I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
