In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize