so that wasnt chicken after all
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
