I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
