I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
