Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
