You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
