i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
