Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
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