why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
