You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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