I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.