My liver just broke up with me...
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication