If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK