Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.