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• (425): View more from Washington

  I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth

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• (310): View more from California

  I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (626): View more from California

  This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side

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• (310): View more from California

  We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (310): View more from California

  You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now

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• (281): View more from Texas

  So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be

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• (716): View more from New York

  FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out

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