this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
