So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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