What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
My breasts were aching with rage.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
