So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize