He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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