somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
