I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
