You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It's never too late to be topless.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
