Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
