I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
