I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
