just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
