Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
