Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
