I got chris browned last night
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
