no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
