her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
