She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
