5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
What drink are we having for lunch?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
