just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize