I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
