I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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