Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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