I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
