wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
