I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
