also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
