I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Congratulations! We have a period
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