i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
